Hypnotize

There comes a time to swallow your pride and move on.
I have such difficulty with that.

someone very close to me is recently engaged. And I cannot consent to feel happy about the matter.

reading week was fine. except for the fact that it exasperated me almost as much as relaxed me, and there was not much to do but attempt homework. which I did not finish...until after the week.
Still not done though...

I've taken to listening to SOAD, though I must admit I skip over some of the more...strange songs in their discography. For the most part though, it is keeping me sane.

No matter where I go and what I do, my mind keeps looping back to the thought that the only dependable person you have is yourself. even if your family and close ones would have you think differently.
I'm probably going to turn senile by the time I'm 30.
honestly I don't give a fuck though...I think that's part of the whole deal though.

How does one please themself when their world revolves around pleasing others,
when their self worth is determined by how much they can do for others,
and guage the reciprocated attention as that determiner?

it's a thought.

wouldn't it be nice,
to just slip,
through this state, yo-yo of strife,
and sleep forever?