I totally rearranged today. I switched from winter to summer clothes in my armoire, put my shoes there as well and replaced my shoe cabinet with cds, dvd's and games/gamelike things. I alphabetically rearranged the books in my book cupboard and tidied up the ones on my windowsill...I got rid of some of the crap under my bed, got rid of some clothes and found some stuff I thought was lost...like two singles of two different pairs of flip-flops.
I even threw out a 1/4 of my makeup that was gross and old, and organized the rest (which, if you know me or have seen it, know that that is one hell of a job).
Unfortunately, I didn't organize my earrings and other jewellery....that's going to take some coffee and a long nap before I tackle that problem.
I went to Wal-Mart today. It wasn't my choice, I would have rather gone to the mall to get my swimsuit top, but that wasn't where the driver was going, and I was just the passenger. Everytime I step inside a Wal-Mart I feel it slowly trying to consume my soul.
I want to cry for the poor children who slaved for three times less per day than the insanely low prices the store is willing to offer on my Cambodian made lycra swimwear.
I want to cry at the obese people able to overstuff their cart with saturated fat in the form of food due to the crazy low price the supermart offers.
I want to cry at the people who look like the result of many generations of redneck-hick inbreeding, able to shop with millions of others of the same type, who need not worry what they look like, because the higher-class people who actually care about their looks and a little bit more quality go to Zellers.
I want to cry for the teenager, the old woman, and the middle aged man that need to wear "How can I make you smile today?" old and disgusting frocks, probably still unwashed from the last person who quit the soul-sucking place.
This was my...fifth(?) time approximately in a Wal-Mart, probably not the last, unfortunately, but definitely the most depressing.
On the way back, the kids' mom said that I should write articles for the Observer, our local bi-weekly paper serving our township. She said my writing is good. She also said I'd probably be very good at journalism.
I like it when people compliment my writing...even if it's journalism.
Tonight, I called my older sister, and she said she was talking to some guy she works with who goes to McGill, and he said that one of the Uni's I am contemplating in Montreal is very good...for journalism, because that is what my sister asked him about. (Although, it is good for just writing in general...phew.)
Why is it that when I tell people that I want to get into Writing and such, they assume journalism?
I HATE JOURNALISM.
It's so dry...I find it very boring and semi-difficult to write
(ok, not difficult so much as just....really not so creative)
It just saddens me is all.
Why can't they assume I want to be a novel writer, or a short story writer, or a poet, or a playwright, or a screenwriter, why do they have to assume journalism?
I don't get it.
Do I look like a journalist?
(I don't even know what exactly that job description entails totally, anyways.)
I am pretty sure the only syndicate work I could ever do would be an opinion article...maybe I should do psych in uni as well, and do an advice column...I already dish enough of it out every day anyways...
One thing makes me curious though. Their mother said I should write for the paper? I really don't know what I would do. I don't think they want stories....
???
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
life. *sigh*
I totally had a fuck my life moment last night.
It really sucked, and I don't wanna talk about it.
I even considered actually putting it on the fml website, but then I realized the person who the whole shebang was about would, in all likelihood, read said post because I know he frequents the site, and then of course, said person would most likely recognize it as me and him in the story.
Double fml.
*sigh*
I know blogs are meant to be read by people, and me being the egotistical human being that I am, would be flattered to have lots of people read it.
However,
one of the kids yesterday, while I was closing some tabs in my browser, noticed my blog and was all interested in reading it.
Since several of the posts in this blog make specific mention to this teenager, and also because I have no interest in her reading into the trials and tribulations of my life, I flat-out told her no.
And then I shut the browser window, hee hee hee.
She was actually pissing me off a lot tonight, which is nothing new. My one friend comes over daily (bless his soul) to help preserve my spirit from being crushed under the weight of all the kids I watch over. It's great that he and I both love French, because we can have semi-conversations, or I can at least complain to him and the kids don't understand.
For instance, I can say to him, as I did tonight, puis-j'elle tuer? (which, btw, totally isn't proper grammer, but we both understood that it meant, can I please murder her?), and the worst that will happen is that she will make fun of us for speaking French in Canada, because, aparently it's not important or something (btw, it's our second national language, it's awesome, I enjoy it and it improves my brain power, so, fuck off dipshit. seriously, I am so sick and tired of listening to you. gah.).
On the flip side, I played a really good game of Scrabble tonight, it calms me just so much, and I love putting words together--I just love words in general. They make me happy x)
Omg, funny thing happened, this friend, who's very sympathetic to my cause and helps keep me sane, well, 3/4 way through our game of Scrabble, his mother came over...(they only live four houses down)
She wasn't very impressed that he hadn't gone home at all...(he'd been with me since 2:00...and it was 9:10) and that he hadn't called...which is pretty bad...I guess...(I've so totally done worse)She constantly is asking the boy if he is dating me. Which he isn't. I find it quite humourous at the amount of people that think/wonder the same thing.
But if they actually paid attention to the way that we deal with each other when we are together/alone, they would recognize that it's simply friendship.
(plus, there are circumstances that I believe compell me to never have feelings for this boy, or if I ever did, shove them away, pronto)
Anyways, the mother was calmed down, the game of Scrabble was finished, and he went home, and I went to my room, almost crying with frustration over aforementioned she-wolf who I had to endure more than I could stand almost.
Pity party aside, it's now quite calming to just lay here and type this blog.
But, man, I am hungry all the sudden...maybe I should have eaten supper...hmm.
It really sucked, and I don't wanna talk about it.
I even considered actually putting it on the fml website, but then I realized the person who the whole shebang was about would, in all likelihood, read said post because I know he frequents the site, and then of course, said person would most likely recognize it as me and him in the story.
Double fml.
*sigh*
I know blogs are meant to be read by people, and me being the egotistical human being that I am, would be flattered to have lots of people read it.
However,
one of the kids yesterday, while I was closing some tabs in my browser, noticed my blog and was all interested in reading it.
Since several of the posts in this blog make specific mention to this teenager, and also because I have no interest in her reading into the trials and tribulations of my life, I flat-out told her no.
And then I shut the browser window, hee hee hee.
She was actually pissing me off a lot tonight, which is nothing new. My one friend comes over daily (bless his soul) to help preserve my spirit from being crushed under the weight of all the kids I watch over. It's great that he and I both love French, because we can have semi-conversations, or I can at least complain to him and the kids don't understand.
For instance, I can say to him, as I did tonight, puis-j'elle tuer? (which, btw, totally isn't proper grammer, but we both understood that it meant, can I please murder her?), and the worst that will happen is that she will make fun of us for speaking French in Canada, because, aparently it's not important or something (btw, it's our second national language, it's awesome, I enjoy it and it improves my brain power, so, fuck off dipshit. seriously, I am so sick and tired of listening to you. gah.).
On the flip side, I played a really good game of Scrabble tonight, it calms me just so much, and I love putting words together--I just love words in general. They make me happy x)
Omg, funny thing happened, this friend, who's very sympathetic to my cause and helps keep me sane, well, 3/4 way through our game of Scrabble, his mother came over...(they only live four houses down)
She wasn't very impressed that he hadn't gone home at all...(he'd been with me since 2:00...and it was 9:10) and that he hadn't called...which is pretty bad...I guess...(I've so totally done worse)She constantly is asking the boy if he is dating me. Which he isn't. I find it quite humourous at the amount of people that think/wonder the same thing.
But if they actually paid attention to the way that we deal with each other when we are together/alone, they would recognize that it's simply friendship.
(plus, there are circumstances that I believe compell me to never have feelings for this boy, or if I ever did, shove them away, pronto)
Anyways, the mother was calmed down, the game of Scrabble was finished, and he went home, and I went to my room, almost crying with frustration over aforementioned she-wolf who I had to endure more than I could stand almost.
Pity party aside, it's now quite calming to just lay here and type this blog.
But, man, I am hungry all the sudden...maybe I should have eaten supper...hmm.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Le Destin.
So, yesterday at the Medieval festival in town, I paid five dollars for a palm reading.
It was very positive in general, and really fed my ego, hee hee.
Everyday when I check my e-mail inbox, I get a horoscope. And it's generally pretty positive, or there is at least one positive aspect to it.
Now, I'm not any new-agey person, but I do enjoy dabbling with the ideas of destiny and predetermination and all that jazz.
I always take it with a grain of salt of course, and reflect on what is said to me, kind of like a meditation of the day (something that my mother, a very religious Catholic, does everyday with her own meditation book. See? It's not all that bad to have something to reflect upon every day, regardless of where it comes from.)
Anyways.
So, I have determined something from this, it makes me a little optimistic, I guess.
In general, I have noticed a lot of people pissed off at the world, what is happening, and being all depressed about it. Now I am not saying that the wrong turns and pitfalls of our planet and people also don't upset me, I just don't get so darned worked up about it when I'm not going to do anything about it except complain and get depressed. That's just annoying (yes, you people, it is annoying, and I would like you to please shut up until you get off that obese ass of yours and do something about the planet. Then cry how nothing is going well).
Yeah.
But, back to my point. What I have determined from this is that, upon examination that snowballed from these reflective horoscopes, etc., is that my life is not so depressing, hard or extraordinarily painful as I once thought it was.
Yes, lots of shit happened in it that shouldn't have and that was unfair, yes, there were tough moments that surely some people wouldn't have been able to handle, and yes, obviously my parents don't understand me and I became overly rebellious about it.
But whatever.
I have a job, I have a house I live in with people that I am neither terrified of or despise, I have family that I enjoy seeing on occasion and don't hate, and I have the best friends in the world, no joke. (I love them all so much <3.) I also happen to have a quasi-plan of what I want to do with my life, and I have the initiative to make it work. I also have nice skin, which really doesn't have anything to do with this, but it actually helps take away the stress of cleaning my face every day with a billion different things and getting depressed when it doesn't work. LOL.
I have grown up a lot, I suppose is what I am saying. I've stopped trying to blame all my problems on my past. Of course, I know aspects of my personality are shaped by my past, simply because of the whole nature vs. nurture debate, and I strongly believe in both shaping individuals to be who they are. But I have my own free will, I am very strong-willed, and I know that only I will be the cause of my own demise.
So World, you're safe from my middle finger :)
It was very positive in general, and really fed my ego, hee hee.
Everyday when I check my e-mail inbox, I get a horoscope. And it's generally pretty positive, or there is at least one positive aspect to it.
Now, I'm not any new-agey person, but I do enjoy dabbling with the ideas of destiny and predetermination and all that jazz.
I always take it with a grain of salt of course, and reflect on what is said to me, kind of like a meditation of the day (something that my mother, a very religious Catholic, does everyday with her own meditation book. See? It's not all that bad to have something to reflect upon every day, regardless of where it comes from.)
Anyways.
So, I have determined something from this, it makes me a little optimistic, I guess.
In general, I have noticed a lot of people pissed off at the world, what is happening, and being all depressed about it. Now I am not saying that the wrong turns and pitfalls of our planet and people also don't upset me, I just don't get so darned worked up about it when I'm not going to do anything about it except complain and get depressed. That's just annoying (yes, you people, it is annoying, and I would like you to please shut up until you get off that obese ass of yours and do something about the planet. Then cry how nothing is going well).
Yeah.
But, back to my point. What I have determined from this is that, upon examination that snowballed from these reflective horoscopes, etc., is that my life is not so depressing, hard or extraordinarily painful as I once thought it was.
Yes, lots of shit happened in it that shouldn't have and that was unfair, yes, there were tough moments that surely some people wouldn't have been able to handle, and yes, obviously my parents don't understand me and I became overly rebellious about it.
But whatever.
I have a job, I have a house I live in with people that I am neither terrified of or despise, I have family that I enjoy seeing on occasion and don't hate, and I have the best friends in the world, no joke. (I love them all so much <3.) I also happen to have a quasi-plan of what I want to do with my life, and I have the initiative to make it work. I also have nice skin, which really doesn't have anything to do with this, but it actually helps take away the stress of cleaning my face every day with a billion different things and getting depressed when it doesn't work. LOL.
I have grown up a lot, I suppose is what I am saying. I've stopped trying to blame all my problems on my past. Of course, I know aspects of my personality are shaped by my past, simply because of the whole nature vs. nurture debate, and I strongly believe in both shaping individuals to be who they are. But I have my own free will, I am very strong-willed, and I know that only I will be the cause of my own demise.
So World, you're safe from my middle finger :)
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