Saint Veronika

I love meat.

I am a great carnivore; I could never be a vegetarian.

Its taste, texture, smell and look combined just create such deliciousness you could never imagine by simply looking at an animal who likes to sleep in their own refuse.

I think if I were Jewish, I might convert for pork alone

"And God said, 'Let there be Bacon', and there was and everyone saw that it was good. No--not just good, amazing"

Meat is also very good for me after a night of drinking, as I discovered yesterday. I was researching it. Has something to do with sodium and iron and antioxidants--not that I need health excuses to enjoy a good steak--medium rare please.

Another interesting thing I came across in my Googling was that sources say it is possible for 25-30% of the population to be resistant to hangovers...there were reasons and research and all that.

And I dare say that it's very possible I am part of that 25-30%.

Especially since my dad was an alcoholic, it's extremely likely, actually.

(That is, if their research is correct. Because I have yet to get a hangover.)

It's not that I'd abuse this trait if it were true, I'd just use it to laugh at others when they get hangovers.

Which sounds extremely mean.

But if you knew my friends, you'd understand.

And they wouldn't care.

(God, I love my friends)

:P

(ps..Billy Talent III is the shiz. The third track is my personal favourite.

My heart will go on and on...

Well, I had what I like to call a ''Potpourri'' weekend :D

I dragged some friends along with me to my parent's house, which is about forty minutes from where we live. Problem is, my "fake-mom" for where I live now isn't always the best with directions...she offered to drive us home, and because of these directional disinclinations and other factors, a normal 40 minute ride took us from 7 PM to 11:3oPM....

I was kind of frustrated and felt supremely embarrassed. I didn't want to sign my friends up for that, I always feel horrible when I feel that I am inconveniencing someone.

My friends seemed to have an okay time at my house though. My one friend even said that my Dad was my favourite dad he'd ever met. That made me feel really nice inside.

Although, he said my mom was kinda scary. I found that kind of funny, but reassured him that she didn't hate him. Pauvre kid. I don't know what exactly my other friend thought of my parents, but I imagine (hope) it wasn't a bad impression.

When I got back to the house on Sunday (after making them go to church with me that day, something I felt really bad for, although they didn't seem to mind, and even had perhaps a good time, even the one who has neglected church for God knows how long) I took a long nap, and no one bugged me. Considering I live in a house of 12 people, that was somewhat surprising to me. Although, later that night, I did begin to get a head ache from the birthday party that was going on.

I also helped the kids have a bonfire whilst the parents and older kids were engaged elsewhere. We invited my one friend over, and by the time he got there, the youngest four were heading to bed. It was only me and an eleven and twelve year old.

Something strange though, the friend that we invited over is incredibly difficult to piss off, and he totally flipped out (in a calm way) on the one kid (not that she didn't deserve it, she was being bitchy).

We were all supremely confuzzled.

The one receiving the reprimand could do nothing but stare, her sister was holding back muted laughter and confusion.

Eventually I had to touch him on the shoulder and just look at him, like, "WTF?" and it made him stop. Poor guy, I must have looked so pleading. (he apologized later)

Speaking of pleading.

Him and I discovered that I do, in fact, have a tone of voice I subconsciously reserve for boys when I want something, although we also determined that I haven't used it on him before.

Now that I am aware of this, (and that apparently it sounds really cute and could, according to him, actually get me what I want) I am turning around the thought in my mind of wielding this weapon (perhaps on him, muah-ha-ha).

Oh, back to last night.

After we put the fire out (most fun ever, throwing a ton of water on a fire) we were just standing talking, and this cat walks up the lane, mewing and walking towards us.

My heart instantly melted.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but the family I live with, half of them are allergic and the other half dislikes/hates cats.

I LOVE cats.

Thus, I thought God was taking mercy on my soul by sending this cat to me.

We decided it was a girl, because she sounded like she was in heat, and kept showing her ass to us, but she wouldn't let us pick her up.

I hope she comes again tonight, because we only got about ten minutes with her before we both had to part ways and go to bed.

Like an old skittles commercial

Ever since I started working for this family, I have found more money doing the laundry every day than I think waitresses get in tips everyday (I know this because I used to waitress, I would get some generous tips every so often).

Now, it's common rule that if you find money on the ground while doing laundry (especially when you do everyone's laudry, and since it's on the floor you quite honestly can't tell whose it is) that basically, finder's keeper's.

To be fair, I usually leave it down there for about a week, and if no one takes it, it's mine :D

So today I found a five dollar bill after not really finding anything there for a while (although, I did find a twenty in a purse the other day; I treated some of the kids with it.), and as I picked it up, I realized it was really worn out.

There is nothing more depressing than finding only a five after weeks of nothing, and to then have it rip between your fingers as you pick it up because your toe was lightly landed on the crumpled corner of the bill

:'(

So what do I do?

TAPE!!!

After surreptitiously sneaking past the two playing with Pokemon cards (which is kind of sad...considering one of the two is 16 and 1/2), I grabbed my trusty tape from my desk.

I did a pretty good job considering the sorry state that the bill was in before it was torn. And I know I should be able to use it without issue; thinking back to all the uber-sketchy bills I used to accept when I was a senior cashier at Staples...it should be fine :)

Of course, the half-inch that was torn off is taped almost a millimeter higher than the rest of the bill...but you can barely tell :)

(I'm sure Laurier won't mind the slight disfiguration of his face either)

(well, mostly just his ear)

(still)

I feel pro :)

and considering I get a little back after paying off my credit card (ack!), I think today is going to be a good day :)

In your afterglooooooowwwww....

Sometimes I like listening to mellow music. Tonight is one of those nights. Kind of makes me happy in some inexplicable way.

I helped a friend out today, it was kind of an odd request, it was kind of an awkward experience, but I got a free ride to the grocery store out of it, which was a bonus.

Speaking of the grocery store. I have this sudden want to decorate a cake, but I don't want to put the effort into making the cake. Such is life.

My room is finally respectably clean after weeks of unbearable mess; as well, the kitchen is clean. It's quite amazing how when things are clean, I feel fathoms better. Honestly. Maybe it's my Virgoan hypochondriac supposed traits coming out or something, but I won't argue. I should keep things clean anyways.

I don't know how many other girls found male cartoon characters attractive, but I did; still kinda do. I always had a huge thing for Aladdin, and also the Beast (especially when he turned human into Prince Adam).
What I've realized is that I find Shaggy from Scooby-Doo incredibly sexy (I also find Matthew Lillard who played the live version of him rather attractive too). I would totally have fun with Shaggy, especially because he'd probably be high at the time ;)

Something made me rather sad. When explaining to one of the girls in the house how absolutely awesome Jane Austen was, and how the book Pride and Prejudice was just as great, she informed me that her English teacher, who was my favourite English teacher when I was in high school, said that Jane Austen books were stupid and boring and not to read them. It made me extremely sad and pissed off at the same time.
I almost dropped him as my favourite teacher right then and there, just for that. Although I took into consideration that the kid who was telling me may have been exaggerating, or that the teacher had a good explanation for his view (although, I think it would have been pretty weak, I mean, she was a kick-ass chickie for her time period). Also the fact that he is a guy could have something to do with it.

Not that Jane Austen was a feminist or whatever. She wasn't the Margaret Atwood of the 18th century...I probably wouldn't enjoy her if she was. She was just awesome, and gave women 3 dimensional characters, you know? And coming from a family of mostly girls, reading books where women have substance and are good characters and smart isn't necessarily empowering, it's great, and I can relate to it, over 200 years later. It's more real to life what Austen wrote, instead of whatever the sorely misinformed men would have done with a female charcter.

I could go on forever, but I won't. Y'all should just look up bios of Jane, read synopsies of her books, understand sex roles of that time period, and read the books.

(oh, and when done the books, read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It's great.)

new books!

I had a pretty good day today. I made a casserole, even the most picky child in the house liked it :) I liked it, and as a general rule, I don't like casseroles (at least not my mother's, but it's probably because I don't put as much healthy stuff in it...), and it was my first casserole.

I finally got my external hard drive with the help of an awesome someone :)

Even though it's from FutureShop, I'm pretty satisfied with it. I finally cleared the ancient, bulky desktop computer that my sister asked me to hold on to from my desk, put it in it's box, and thus made my room slightly more liveable. It only sucked that I could only glean half of her iTunes because her computer kept crashing (reason to get my laptop in the first place).

Oh, well, I guess I will survive. At least I still got 5 gigs of it :D

On another note, I decided to post that 'poem' I mentioned, the one with the non-suicidal thoughts in it...

A Poem

I tried to think of something witty,

something funny,

something revelation worthy,

something to talk about,

something to match the intelligence of a YouTube comedian--

But I couldn't.

so you'll have to deal with imagining what something like that would be like.

I suddenly found it important to write out the fact that, sometimes

I just have nothing really to say

(except ramblings such as this)

which most likely means I talk too much.

Thus makes me think I am annoying.

Whether or not I am.

Which probably means I have some deepset personal insecurities.

meh.

I don't feel pulled to suicide--so I must be okay.

(I just had a mini revelation-mind-jizz)

What I will leave you with is wonder

(which every good poem should do)

wonder

(like a magical bridge)

How the hell is this a poem?

(it really is a wonder)

I've been rotten Father, absolutely ROTTEN

So yesterday I went to an evening mass at a different church because I'd missed the one in the morning. There was a really cute guy there, who actually prayed. My hopes of finding a good looking Catholic to romance dramatically increased.

The family I work for is friends with the priest at this church, so after mass their dad directed us to shake hands.
Now, during mass we were near the back, and all I could tell was that Father was not old and had good hair.
Up close, well...

*shake hands with Father
*notice Father
*Deanna smiles and talks with that tone
--Deanna's Mind: Do NOT flirt with a PRIEST!!!!

Aaaargh! Priests are not supposed to be good looking. They are not supposed to be athletic. Heck, it's good if they aren't even all that funny. It helps if they are old.

Deanna, you are not supposed to express so much enthusiasm when an invitation to visit is extended to hot priest.

Dammit.

Dear God, why ask me to go to mass when you supply hot priests....unless that's part of the attraction....
-Dea.

I need to find a boyfriend quick.
(because thinking of a hookup with a Catholic priest is just too fucked up)

WWWWaaaarrrrrrggghhhh

Frick it's been a while.
It's almost embarrassing. Seriously.

Life is full of surprises, that's no surprise.
What's surprising to me is that I keep happening upon them. I am not sure yet if this is good or bad, but I'm not dead yet, so I will take that as either a harmless/neutral and/or good sign.

Speaking of dead. I wrote a poem last night, and showed it to a few friends. I really wanted to just have that calming sensation of putting my pencil to paper and writing, so I did a quick, one-page poem. Not entirely structured, I am sure, but, a poem, albeit made with messy, messy writing.

In this poem, I mentioned suicide. I mentioned how I haven't been having suicidal thoughts, which is always a good thing. Now when I reread the poem, those lines hit me. I remembered the last time that I did have those thoughts. If any of my friends could read this, they may be surprised to find out just how often I used to think about it (I guess because I exude the personality of a very cheerful person).

In short, I used to consider wiping myself from the face of the earth more times in the day than a porn addict jacks off in a corner.
This was for many reasons, and was quite frequent during my grade twelve year, which, if anyone who knows me can remember, was quite a segregated year for me.

It wasn't that I felt useless, or that I was some emo person or whatever.

I was just so...sad.
I didn't want to be here anymore.
I didn't want to deal with life day after day with the people I wanted in that life being absent so often.
I wanted to stop crying for unknown reasons.
I wanted to stop riding my emotions that rose and fell each day based on how much I was left without the people I cared about.

I wanted to stop being alone.