Little Rant.

It's not fair. There are some really good people out there, and they are so innocent. The worst shit happens to them, and they are the least to deserve it.

You try to laugh about it, but it's not funny and you don't know how to avoid the situation. You want to cry with them, but that's not what they need. What they need is justice.

It's so frustrating that the world is so imbalanced. That the undeserving of the world get what the deserving are supposed to have. They get it without asking. They get it and they can't even handle it.

This isn't about money. This is about life.

Am I beating an old drum? I don't care, it's new to me. Or, at least, it's newly annoying because I have access to everyone in this unbalanced karmatic equation at my fingertips. I can't play God, and I don't like it.

All I can do is watch over and do my best to help. I can give advice, I can give examples, I can sympathize, I can empathize, I can get angry.

But I can't make it right, and it hurts so bad.

People in the world are so jaded, I can't stand it. I don't understand why they have to be so pessimistic all the time. The world doesn't always suck.

Maybe if you just had realistic expectations, and worked your way around the roadblocks, instead of waiting for everything to be handed to you on a silver platter, then you'd realize the world isn't out to get you.

Life's not perfect, and the sooner you realize that, the better.

Until then, Stop whining.

(You'd think people living in a city would have realized this by now.)

please stay tuned to our normal broadcast. This is just a filler ^_^

V-I-R-G-I-N

I keep seeing people say thank god it's the end of Movember.

(If you don't know, Movember is a mixture of November and Mustache, because hockey players use the month of November as the part of the season they grow mustaches.  I think it's dumb.)

I don't really care, all it means for me is that I have to spend money on monthly payments now.  Damn. 

Most awkward interview ever?  I'm sorry, but I personally think both of these women are idiots, although Paris has a bit more potential because I've seen her act smart.  She's not Jessica Simpson.

I've actually watched an interview where Lady Gaga said the only thing she would look for in a guy is a big dick.

Ummm.  I find that kinda gross. Sorry :)  Actually, I think I just find her gross in general.  I give her kudos for creativity and all that, but she's just a little bit strange up there.  Maybe it was the bow of hair on her head--pulled a few too many cells to their limits. 

Her music videos are creepy, her songs are all about the same thing, she doesn't need the money, and she sounds like what I imagine a large lizard would sound like if it could sing.  At least she can play instruments and whatever, but her dancing and the outfits look like rejects from an old Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers fight sequence, and she and her posse of metrosexual/overly sexually charged males are the bad guys. 

Weekends are always best random.

My random led me to winning a bluetooth, having a new camera, and finding ten dollars, as well as receiving free food a few times.  Yum.   Random also leads to unexpected circumstances, and in my case, this includes rides from people you would least imagine, things you didn't know you would do, and becoming, once again, the fulcrum of social situations. 

I have started to consider putting condensed versions of these situations on here for reference and examples to others. 

I just don't get why others can't find it as simple. 

 

Topher Grace

Did you know you can stretch a pair of shoes to fit your feet up to a size larger by using ice? It's true. Oh, the wonders of YouTube.

Yesterday I was talking about women's bodies today, and how it is frustrating if you're not the norm.
Sometimes, it's interesting to look at your own reaction when you see someone in a position of popularity, and they don't look at all like what is typical for their role. For instance, this music video garners a lot of negative and positive comments. The positive are 98% for the music quality (it's nearly the same live, too!) while the negative are all about the lead singer's deviance from what most female frontrunners look like.
I like the video and the song.
I wonder if Mama Cass went through any of the same sorts of things.

Some things irk me. One of them are people on facebook who are looking for "a relationship".

These people are either: Ugly, prepubescent girls, hopeless romantics, teenage boys who just want pussy, creepy, or lack self esteem. Or all of these (well, minus being two different sexes).
Even my best friend isn't looking for "a relationship", and she's as HR as they come. (her older brother, on the other hand, is, but that is expected as he is very sweet but seems kinda sketch.)

I wish these people would stop.
You aren't going to find a relationship if you can't get yourself away from your facebook page, and don't stop trying but failing to flirt over fb chat (which fails connectivity wise half the time anyways, so it's almost like a double fail).
And trust me, people who try to get you to date them over facebook are very annoying, very creepy, and very desperate.
I've had this one guy on my tail for over a year, and I just can't shake him off. I suppose I should just delete him, but aside from the trying to date me thing, he's just fine.
sigh

I have thought that perhaps my writing is either too unconventional, too harlequinesque, too teenage, too adverb filled, or perhaps all of these together.
I still enjoy doing it though.
But, I dug something out of the ashes from the underbelly of DeaDea's My Documents.
You decide.

Hpnotc

I'm gonna run a little commentary today, about women. This is all a result of the bus. Oh, how I love the bus. I have no idea if anything is medically or scientifically accurate, but I'm not a doctor or scientist, and don't give a fuck on that front, and also, in what I've seen, you don't have to have a certificate to have everyone believe whatever you say, just Charisma
(God, I love that word)

There was a woman, and she was clearly very pregnant. And she was also smoking.
I don't mind smokers, I'll even do it myself occasionally.
But you don't make your unborn baby smoke your smoke. You chose to smoke, not the baby.
Jerk.

Secondly, as I was sitting, nearly in tears over this mother, I saw this other girl standing outside the bus stop.
She seemed to me to be the epitome what our nation's women are today.

Small breasted from hormone filled food in giant portions of genetically modified protein and vitamins, screwed up estrogen and testosterone levels, as well as from evolution--lines of women having 1.2 children stopping the need for their endowments to be anything less than impressive.

At the same time, these women are filling their childless bellies with something else...so much alcohol that it leaves them with large beer bellies, or vodka, rum and wine bellies, complete with a large donut hole of a belly button overhanging store-torn jeans that don't fit their asses properly because they only go half way because, although their legs are thin enough, the bands won't go around the stretch-marked waist.

The woman's (the typical woman, not the like, 20% percent that fill magazines and the petite section at the mall) silhouette isn't much of a silhouette anymore. Their shadows look like a Picasso reject.

What does this all come down to?

Well, fortunately for me, my body IS proportionate. No, it's not the 130 lbs that is supposedly supposed to be normal for my height (BMIs, kiss my curvaceous ass), but everything's the right size for my size.
Thanks to a mother who hates hot dogs, non farm-fresh meat and produce, and many other old-school health delights, I have been blessed with the keeping of good genetics and allowed to grow my bosom to it's full extent which leaves others looking in jealousy or lust.
(haha, I really just went on a rant there, and it sounded good, so I'll keep it. I'm not really that full of myself.)
Thanks to my family, I've kept in relatively good shape and not fallen totally for the fast food, alcoholic, and muscle-inhibiting/belly-building birthcontrol ways of the rest of us.

Unfortunately, this makes shopping for clothes difficult.

Not long ago, going up a size literally meant they just moved the bust and hips up a size.

now, bust and hips stay the same. it's the belly that grows
(or stays the same but is made of lycra and spandex because some dumbass decided to bring leggings back into fashion and now everyone wants to look like a 1980`s TV workout instructor with matching "stomach flattening"--or not--tight and stretchy material.

This is difficult when you want to buy a dress or a nice shirt.
It's maddening when you have to put a piece of clothing back withing ten seconds of trying it on because right away it doesn't fit over that lovely, envy-producing bust of yours.
Annoying when you know it WOULD fit, if it didn't just have that huge pucker in the waist where your huge paunch is supposed to be, really making that dress into a bubble dress.
And it pisses one right off when the shirt isn't long enough because half the material is taken up by those lovely things on your chest.

It's annoying when you come out of the changeroom, and look like you've just had a work out because you've been wresting with an overpriced piece of polyester-cotten blend to get it back over those hills that they got stuck on and you realized, Shit, this isn't going to fit you.
(lol, maybe not so intense, but, it is frustrating. and angering, not depressing)

So what does one do? They go to the Plus section. But it doesn't matter, because there, everything is ugly and disgusting, because for some reason it seems like they want to make fat people depressed. And you really aren't that big anyways, you just wanted something for your boobs, but you now fail because you aren't three hundred pounds.

sigh

Well. that was my night.

What were my resolutions? Well, I'm tired, so I'll just give you this and be done with it. I think it's awesome. It's creepy and beautiful at the same time, and is one of the few videos I've seen that accurately describes how I feel when I listen to it (well, maybe not the last 20 seconds)

they're not too bad live either. (And this is as live as it gets) ;)

Alsace-Lorraine.

My issues from yesterday may not have been fully resolved, but they're getting better :)

I've found that I like cleaning a bit, but I have to have a list.

I like making lists almost as much as I like crossing things off of them.

I have a busy weekend coming, with things triple scheduled both days. Ack.

I have also considered making this blog come to good use.

I wish I had the capacity to turn it into an advice blog, or something about baking expertise, or child care, or political opinion or religious or something.

As it is, I have decided to make these resolves:

From now on, this blog shall have:

-one random fact each day.

-one awesome video link

-some tip/advice about something (prolly regarding baking or relationships, haha)

-a link to something I think you'd like to read ;)

As well as my normal Blathering and Cyptic Titles.

Chicken pot pie on a Sunday Night

I'm pissed off.

Not in really proactive way, more a depressing way (as is my nature).

I feel neglected, alone, forgotten, used and and completely misunderstood.

I don't meant this teen angst wise...

it's something I've felt before, a few years ago.

that got fixed, eventually, but it took a couple of those few years to do so.

It's weird though, because my life isn't that bad, I have a job and a living spot and family, you know.

But we always forget the things we take for granted when it actually matters.

Maybe it's just major PMS, but I doubt it, it doesn't seem to add up.

We'll see.

So Yesterday, so yesterday, I'm like a bird, I've already flown away

Yesterday was genuinely random.

I had a grumpy morning on msn, and also with one of the children (not at them, just with something she said). I had come back to visit the family for prayer group, and brought my standard snacks along, etc etc.

Now, before I'd ever nannied them, I'd gone to prayer group, and it was always established that I could sleep over every week after, since we started at nine, and ended at 11 or later.

One would assume that after I was done nannying, none of this would change.

So, when I woke up at 7:30, I went back to sleep, I had agreed to clean up the tea cups, at their mother's request, but I decided I could do it in half an hour or so, since I had not been able to fall asleep until 2:30, and I knew the cups would still be waiting for me.

When I went out later, the cups were cleared and there was nothing for me to do.

So I went back in the room with full intentions to continue typing my little novella, but wound up getting stuck in a sticky msn situation.

(but that's not what this blog is about)

While I was sitting there, doing this and that on the laptop, one of the girls came in.

She mentioned, essentially, that her mother said something basically to the extent of, "Deanna should not sit in there all day doing nothing, when she's here, she should do something to help out."

Umm, excuse me?

Okay, you start paying me again, and then I'll become your slave again.

Essentially, I'm not going next week. Not when I'm apparently only valued as a guest there if I bring treats and pick up small store items for them and clean their house and watch over her children while I'm there.

She picked the wrong day to say a selfish bitchy comment.

When I was on the bus travelling home, I wasn't feeling so good, so I stopped at the market and talked to my one friend who works there. He instantly made me feel better again! Yay! This was random item #1

#2 comes from being on the bus to go home, and then staying on it all the way to it's final destination to meet my cousin for an hour before I had to go babysit. hahah, I vented, he was happy to listen.

While I was babysitting, I checked my facebook, and found a whole conversation between him and another cousin of mine, who were talking about going to the mall. Since I was going to be done babysitting by then, I texted them to say I was coming too, since they thought I wasn't going to be able to make it.

I get on the bus, and, my cousin is on the same one (well, it figures, but I thought he would have taken either a different or an earlier one.) I also saw someone I went to high school with, but she was way at the front of the bus so I didn't say anything...

Get to the mall, and while walking with my two cousins and my cousin's friend, I see, again, my friend from the market, meandering with a few of his own! I waved, he waved back.

We went into a store, and I felt like my skin was being peeled off with acid, so I went outside of it in search of food with Dylan. I went to buy us burgers, and who do i see in like at the restaurant beside us? My friend, once again, but I didn't want to seem like I was stalking, so I didn't make myself noticeable.

When I got back to the table, all the sudden, my younger cousin, Dylan's little sister, showed up with a friend! they were going to a movie

(if you haven't guessed by now, my family is quite extensive)

When my other cousin and her friend went up to get food after us, we went too, and passed Nick, whom I then talked to for a couple minutes because he acknowledged me first.

Yay!

The night's randomness was completed by an impromptu sleepover, and a tranny on the bus that sat down across from me, and I had to avoid looking at because I would have laughed.