when you hear my voice you think of me, not anyone else

Good St. Patrick's Day y'all?

It gave me very strange dreams involving a funeral where I worked, being drunk at said workplace, getting in a fight and being two hours late. Also, for some reason my name was Jasmine; even my nametag said so.

Yesterday was a semi-good day. I went to the mall to check out the new H&M that had just opened. It was cool, but I don't know if it was worth all the hype, it seemed too small.
Needless to say, I wasn't going to try to navigate myself around that store and the mile-long changeroom/cash lineups for overpriced clothing. And I needed a spring jacket.
So I found one! Yay! But not at H&M; at Winners. It's cheetah print. I've never owned anything of that particular print before. I mean I like the jacket, but it will take me a little bit to not feel pretentious wearing it. I've never really affiliated myself with animal prints as being "me".

The rest of the day well, it just went by kinda in a daze. It's Friday, and therefore the weekend, and it doesn't feel like that at all to me.
To be truthful, it doesn't feel like anything. I'm going through one of those apathetic phases again, I think.
Hmm.
At least I get tons of writing in those times.
Let's see what I can create.

And I'm like, baby baby baby, oooh.

(Not a Justin Beiber fan, but that chorus is addictive.)

I gave blood for the first time yesterday. Was fun! I loved answering all the cocaine survey questions and if I've had sex with homosexual/drug addicted men since 1977.
I got a blood buddy right away though, this interesting kinda guy who noticed my "first time donor" sticker across my chest and chatted it up with me about Graywater.
I liked him, his chattyness wasn't awkward.

My older sister is finally back in the province after her 13 month stay in south korea!
It was such happiness when I got home to my parent's house (I needed an eye appointment) and I found out she would be home within the hour.
I'm very close to her, and it was wretched to have her gone for so long.

Not much else has happened, although these past two days have seemed very long.
I am pleased with them.

Adam Lambert

You want to hear from me, but you don't want to listen.
I remember why I never used to like you,
I don't know what happened in between.

I feel really horrible for the way that I think
but I can't help and wonder if it's true.
I feel brutal but I think you deserve this;

I think you've brought it upon yourself
I know when I've been rude
And I feel bad

Can you do anything about it when it's your turn?
Are you helpless?
Maybe that's what brings on this loathing.

I'm just relieved most of the world isn't like you.
Or, at least,
the part of the world I affiliate myself with.

(By the way, I love Adam Lambert, and this is not about him. It was just inspired while thinking and listening to "Whatya Want From Me" at the same time.)

Let's get together and feel alright

I've gotten myself into a bit of a mess, it would seem.
FML doesn't quite describe.
Shit.

When the Younger are more Mature.

I don't know if it's just February (What an odd word), but I felt like talking about love.
Love is such an odd thing, isn't it.
It's not that I'm feeling so much love right now, no, I don't think that's what inspired this little mind-jot.

I don't think I'm really that qualified to talk about love, give lectures on it, advice or anything. Nobody dubbed that, even though I have had my fair share of conversations, and I love them (ahaha to the semi-pun.)
But, I have felt love, and loved before, and I think that gives me a right.
So as I was saying.

Love's a funny thing.
I don't think you can really describe actual love. try as you might. and don't think I'm being all whimsical and shojo and head-in-the-clouds here, I'm rather calm at the moment.
I think you can describe attraction, and infatuation, and lust, and obsession, and pain and abuse, and chocolate and confusion,
but I don't think you can describe love. Even if your description is in the Bible (No offense to any Apostles.).

I mean, if we could, then we would have it down pat, right?
Which is why it's so confusing, eh?
I get confused all the time about love. You think you know something and then BAM! something happens and your feet get chopped off all over again and you fall down flat on your metaphorical face.

And we enjoy it! (Or at the very least look forward to it happening/worry if it doesn't happen soon.)
But yes, I don't think we get it, and it's probably better that way. I think a few things in life lose merit if they're rationalized (Take Chuck Norris jokes for instance, if you tried rationalizing them to a middle-aged adult who doesn't get them, they would be just ruined forever.)

I wonder if I have a point here or I'm just going in circles.

For me, personally, I enjoy love and I think I can recognize it. I know when I do or don't love a person vs. the other options I mentioned above. Infatuation happens quite often with me it seems.
But yes. What I enjoy about love, I think the most, is the constancy and consistency that comes with it
yes..those are two different things.
That and the safety net it provides. Who doesn't want to feel safe at times?
And finally, knowing that I either love or am in love with someone just makes me feel good, about that person and the relationship I have with them, and gives me a more rosy outlook on life in general.

To all the people that I love, I hope you know who you are, and I hope I'll always love you.
(I also hope that doesn't sound creepy)
Lol.

Life is happy.

St. Valentine's Day!

I always loved st. valentine's day. not because I had a significant other, or because I received lots of chocolate or flowers or some crap like that.
No, it was always a lot of fun to have a craft day with my sisters, and make cards with lots of red,white,pink and black construction paper, paper doilies, glitter, scissors and the occasional pair of googly eyes.
that, and there was usually some sort of party, and the involvement of baking some yummy food was always key.

Last night was my sister's dance, which I volunteered to help out with. it was the 5th one, and usually I would just participate, and not help out. oh well, things change.
I think I was actually kinda glad to be a volunteer. I wasn't quite feeling the crowd or the music so much this year, and I'm excellent at bitching people around in the kitchen.
although, it was definitely a plus that our dj was quite cute this year. I was definitely feeling him.

aaaand I finally got to wrench off these wretched fake nails at 3 in the morning! Yayyyyy!

but now I must go and look at pictures from this dance.
Happy Love Day, y'all <3

Google Stalk

St Valentine's is fast approaching and I am once again reminded that I have no Valentine.
Unfortunately this year I won't be enjoying Love Cake with my sisters, methinks.

Although...our dance is the night before so I really shouldn't complain.

I was going through one of my phases the other night before I started helping some people with online msn therapy sessions (making me also realize I feel useless unless I am helping someone make themselves feel better), and I wrote a bit of a Valentine's Poem, I suppose you should say.

Maybe this is what Bella would have been thinking about Edward had they not started their mutual obsession before conversationshearts-day. (Although Twilight kinda ruins my work. And ifffff Stephanie Meyer could write. [yes, I did just say my writing is better than miss mormon])

But, at the very least there are people out there who feel this way, to this extent or not.I just attempted to capture it as the mood took me.

Did it work?

As a sidenote--
New music in my iTunes:
~Florence and the Machine (My personal faves Cosmic Love Girl with one Eye [chills!] and Howl so far)

as well as

~Lioness, who unfortunately only have really an EP so far, but they have a member from controller.controller and I loooove them thanks to this music video I watched this morning
I was only paying attention to the song though as I was doing dishes)