You spin me right round. Pt 2

I can't sleep properly anymore.

I toss and turn and I wake up constantly.

And I'm dreaming again.

I like dreaming, in my life I find refuge in my dreams. I know I've had a good nap when I dreamed it it; it actually means I fell asleep.
I've been able to have one nap in the past three weeks.
An actual nap where I fell asleep and was left alone for more than five minutes. Not even ten, five.
And you can't get good sleep when you feel guilty and as if you haven't done enough during the day because the kids went to bed late and the parents don't seem happy.

It's going to drive me insane. I've tried falling asleep early. It doesn't work, I just stay awake, thinking, until I somehow drift off to sleep for two hours before waking up again, and repeat three times before waking up half an hour before the alarm goes off, depressing myself.
I think I'll just get out of bed next time.

It doesn't help that my days are so shitty now. I think this must have something to do with my
lack of sleep.
Which I can't do anything about.
I can't wait for thanksgiving weekend over the next couple of days.
I'll be able to get sleep, hang around people that won't work me like a slave, and eat food I don't have to make all by myself.
I won't even have to keep my foul language in check.

I won't have to try to pretend to be someone I'm not.

On a side note, I cut an onion yesterday while preparing tacos, midday snack and two cheesecakes for guests that night all at the same time.
Of course it made me cry.
and that was the first time I've cried in over three months, probably six actually.
I know that they weren't real tears, not emotional tears, but it still felt really good (aside from the stinging from the sulphuric acid), and I know that if I can just somehow cry out all the frustration I'm feeling over the past ages, I will feel better.

:S