But, it has something to do with the fact that I've been feeling really weird all week. Not sick sort of weird, I just feel strange, I guess. I didn't even buy a book when I was in Chapter's, but more on that later. I can't really describe this feeling, but it's almost like, loneliness meets apathy meets ego meets depression meets minor happy events meets always having something to do. Ha.
I haven't had a nap in a week, and I have been getting five hours, tops, sleep every day. I am getting random bouts of insomnia again, and I don't think it has anything to do with the summer heat. I just don't know. I don't even feel tired, and even if I did (well, I kinda do now; I've been on my feet all day and made 48 cupcakes over the past two hours as well as supper simultaneously), I know I'd never be able to trick myself into a nap.
It's not caffiene either. That usually puts me to sleep.
Mood, obviously, is affected by events in your life. Well, it's not as if my life has had any ''events'' in it this week, but I have been doing things. I mean, Monday I was taken home by my friends, and they all had to leave sooner than I would have liked...because of work. *sigh*
Tuesday...umm. Rather boring. Me and some friends did, eventually, try to watch Coraline. I was kind of upset though, because I took them to the kitchen to let us enjoy some coffee, and then five minutes later we were bombarded by children who had been gone all evening. Suddenly my night with my friends, and my coffee time with them, was interrupted irrevocably by brattish children who know nothing but to follow their id; as they have been taught by their semi-neglective parents. I felt utterly embarrassed, angry, and pinned at the same time. I felt horrible for accidentally dragging my friends into a pit of annoyance. I begged forgiveness in my mind. I felt unfulfilled when they eventually had to all go home, and upset that the whole kitchen situation had dulled our time in half.
It only got worse when two of the boys and their friend (who isn't the greatest influence on them), whose room is right above me, decided to take till 1 30 am to quiet down--after I had found the comfy spot on the pillow I had had to go upstairs to tell them to shut up, since their parents don't seem to know how to climb that set of stairs. (And then, to add insult to injury, the girls decided to start watching tv REALLY loudly in their room after I was done with the boys. I didn't even bother this time.)
The next day was my friend's birthday. I decided to wake up extremely early (thus getting about 3 hours of real sleep after my first day off vacay, rofl) to get ingredients for his present.
It's so beautiful in the early morning, and people are lovely.
I thought about taking walks every morning, then realized I would want to do it with someone, and I have no one to walk with. I determined that if I ever get married, they are going to go on one morning walk with me a week, at least.
But. It extremely annoyed me that of the 24 cupcakes I made, more than half of them were devoured by people who knew their purpose, and that the first one was eaten by the children's mother. It almost disgusts me, actually.
It made me...depressed when I only saw said friend on birthday for about ten minutes because he was hanging out with a special friend later in the evening. I don't care if my friends have relationships, I have no authority to tell them who to go out with. But suddenly, I was left alone on an evening because my friends had other commitments. With this one, because of certain circumstances, I didn't know how to deal. I just kinda went through the day in a daze. When I was asked to hang out with my other friend, I snapped up the chance and suggested Chapters. I didn't even buy books, that's how out of whack I am.
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